2025 – Rallings Snags D.I.C.K. by surprise as tournament comes of age

Rallings Snags D.I.C.K. by surprise as tournament comes of age

Report by Jonathan Rallings

Good things come to those who wait, as Rallings wins at the 21st attempt

An astonished crowd at the Crown and Greyhound Arena witnessed an unprecedented day as after 20 years Ralfe ‘Snagger’ Rallings finally won the prestigious Dulwich International Conker Knockout (D.I.C.K.) title for the first time. Despite playing in all 20 previous D.I.C.K.s Rallings had never finished higher than second plinth on the podium, but as the tournament hit 21 years he showed an uncannily similar blossoming maturity by avoiding stage fright for once.

However, true to form, Rallings couldn’t get through the day without some dirty play. A vicious assault on the thumb of eventual runner-up Rob Baranowski in the final. Ultimately it was judged to be accidental, but Rallings nevertheless ‘snagged’ his third Dastardly D.I.C.K. trophy despite for the first time registering not a single snag in play across the day. It was an unwanted double win that slightly marred what should otherwise have been a day of redemption for D.I.C.K.’s resident baddie. This despite the foul-play award originally looking a shoo-in for tournament director Steve Hoy whose incompetence in forgetting this year’s specially imported ‘Class A Hampshire conkers’ led to a half hour delay in this year’s edition getting underway.

A gloriously sunny afternoon of world class nut-play finally began with a clash between Amy Hoy and double-Dastardly D.I.C.K. winner Sarah Gardner. Hoy played her usual cagey game that had seen her take the title in 2020, whilst Gardner lived up to her bad girl reputation registering two snags. Unsurprisingly this war of attrition stretched into overtime where a tight fought game was taken by Gardner 3up&2. Hoy could at least console herself with winning her first Short D.I.C.K. trophy in the two decades since she got married.

Hoy takes the Short D.I.C.K. award from her husband

The following match saw Caro Harper joining only her second D.I.C.K. up against 2022 winner Rob Baranowski. Baranowski dominated the opening stages but Harper soon struck back with increasing accuracy. The novice even took an early lead in overtime, before the former champ relieved himself by coming back to triumph 2up&1.

Next up the breakout star of the 2024 edition Florence Whitehead stepped forward to face Toby Baranowski-Bishop. Whitehead stormed out of the traps with six consecutive hits causing early damage to Baranowski-Bishop’s conker, but some staunch defensive play from the young man saw the tie go to overtime. Eventually, though, the greater accuracy of Whitehead saw her triumph 4-3 with three swings to spare – her first fully-fledged victory in the tournament to add to the win she achieved in last year’s competition when her opponent imploded.

Reigning champion Brooke ‘Brook-O’ Lumicisi began the defence of her title against Seb Kohon. Some good pounding on both sides also led to an early snag apiece which perhaps made the latter player withdraw slightly. Conversely, though, Lumicisi seemed to double down on her aggressive approach and despite incurring another snag managed to give Kohon’s nut a thorough punishing before prevailing 7-3 in sudden death.

Enter Rallings to the customary boos, this year up against Steve Hoy. It was the first time the veteran stalwarts – two of just three competitors to have featured in every tournament since its inception two decades before – had met since 2022. On that occasion Hoy had steamrollered the sudden death with eye-catching 5up&4, but it was clear from the early swings that three years on this was a different Rallings. A back-and-forth bash-fest ensued before coming to a climax with Hoy’s nut exploded across the arena a triumphant Rallings looking on determinedly.

2022 runner-up Andrew Mills then returned to the nut-ring to face Dan Johnson. A hardy battle ensued with the lead being tugged back and forth between each players swings, cracks emerging on both sides. Mills eventually dominated when he “got a Krakatoa”, as he put it – exploding Johnson’s nut to the four winds.

If not for Rallings’ surprise triumph the big story of the day would undoubtedly have been the unceremonious dumping out of former four-times D.I.C.K. champion Glen Whitehead in the first round for the second time in three years. Incredibly, though, on this occasion his conqueror was his own daughter, Cecily, who at a mere 10 years old showed that expert conker play is clearly something some people have ‘in the genes’ just like her sister Florence. For a debutant to have beaten a player whose nuts, in his pomp, were untouchable, was remarkable enough. But the manner in which victory was achieved was impressive, with the younger Whitehead’s accuracy seeing off her father in a tense overtime showdown right at the death was incredible drama. All this despite Cecily being threatened with pocket money sanctions – intimidation that the adjudicators will be looking into very seriously in a future inquiry. It has now been some years since Whitehead allegedly retired after his last D.I.C.K. title in 2018 and it is beginning to look like his comeback to the sport in 2023 may have been ill-advised with just one Dastardly D.I.C.K. prize to show for his efforts? However, it is clear his role as a coach to his young family is not in question.

The final match of the first round saw 2023 D.I.C.K. king Konrad Bishop take on Ella-Kate Whitehead in her first appearance in the tournament since 2008. This was unfortunately a mismatch, though, with Ella-Kate’s snag on her first swing showing her impotence in the face of a dominant Bishop – eventually disqualified for three snags that were borne less from malice than from being out-manoeuvred by ‘Basher’ Bishop.

The quarter finals began with Sarah Gardner up against Rob Baranowski. Baranowski came out fighting, but after suffering some early damage to his own nut quickly changed to more defensive tactics. But Gardner – acutely determined to take no chances herself given the risk of snagging out smearing her reputation further – couldn’t take advantage of him. Eventually Baranowski won 6-5 on sudden death. Florence Whitehead played Brooke Lumicisi in a fascinating match that saw strong hitting from both competitors despite a snag apiece. The tension in a high-scoring overtime was palpable with an additional three swings required before Lumicisi secured a tight 9-8 win.

Ralfe Rallings then faced Andrew Mills in a rematch of last year’s tie where an out of sorts ‘Snagger’ had been all over the place before succumbing to a devastating knockout blow from his opponent. It was perhaps then ironic that, despite Rallings’ uncharacteristic accuracy and clean play this time, it was actually Mills bursting his own nut on the permanent D.I.C.K. villain’s shiny brown, rock-solid conker which saw the eventual champion comfortably inserted in the semis.

The last quarter final saw a unique match up featuring greatest height difference between competitors ever seen in the competition as 4’4” (135cm) Cecily Whitehead squared up to 6’2” (188cm) Konrad Bishop – a height difference of more than double the competition’s permitted string length. In order to ensure as fair a contest as possible it was debated as to whether a coin should be tossed to decide whether Whitehead would be required to stand on a chair, but in the end tournament health and safety officials intervened, forcing the only other option of Bishop playing whilst kneeling. Despite the handicap Bishop found his footing – or knee-ing – in the match quickly, but the young competitor once again forced a game into overtime and oh so nearly producing a second shot of the day, narrowly bowing out 6-5. Whitehead may have lost this time but her incredible performances against two of the biggest D.I.C.K. players ever suggests that in time she may yet out-do the legendary exploits of her father.

Whitehead Jr can’t outbash Bishop in this tense quarter final

The semis ended up a bit of damp squib as both ended in quickfire victories. Rob Baranowski swiftly dispatched Lumicisi with a knockout despite an early snag, whilst Rallings – the only competitor to hold his original nut – rode his luck as Bishop destroyed his own conker within just five swings. It got no better for the former champion in the 3^rd place playoff as he sustained similar damage early on before Lumicisi edged her way to a third consecutive podium finish, and fifth overall.

So, to the final. This was an equally short-lived affair as Baranowski was forced onto the defensive after taking a chip out of his own conker early on before Rallings ill-advised quick swing caught his opponent’s thumb as he attempted to straighten his string. After a short delay to treat the injury the players returned to the nut-ring and Rallings exploited Rob’s crack very soon after. There was initially confusion as ‘Snagger’s’ celebrations were commenced when Baranowski’s nut hit the floor after a particularly hard hit, then quickly muted when it was clear it could actually be re-strung.

But with the elusive trophy finally so near, Rallings was not to be denied as he shattered the pitiful husk left hanging before him. It was an unfortunate that his day in the sun should forever be tarnished by a final match that saw some distasteful scenes. It can only be hoped that with this monkey finally off his back, we will see not only higher quality, but also fairer, play from the man next year.